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A quiet anniversary...

Today it has been 4 years and two days since I had my decompression surgery for a Chiari I Malformation.

Just as the malformation was "hidden" for 25 years, so are the changes that I have rejoiced in since the surgery; I appeared well before but I am well now. I know that the surgery was not a cure - I will always have the malformation - but I'm grateful that the surgery has, for the most part, alleviated my symptoms.

Today I am grateful for the gift of good health; of a life free from the horrid "bombs" going off in my head, free from numbness, free from dizziness and falls.

Life is good. I embrace the quiet solitude of my celebration and journey on...


But, but, butt...

When I'm Queen #4:

My tush, the mushy cush upon which I, the Broad with the Beautimus Botto, sit whilst on the Throne (and the throne as well..), will be the envy of all, and it's dimpled-ness the inspiration of both Artist and Bard. To assist their expressions of awe and admiration for my Most Amazing Ass (how crass!) I offer the following:

When I'm Queen #5:
There will be a new Crayola crayon made: Perfectly Portly Bottom Pink


When I'm Queen #6:
"Lush" and "tush" will rhyme. Somehow. I command it!

That's it for now.
Queenie out.


Getting to the, ah, bottom of things...


What does it mean when you are constantly comparing the size of your rear to the rears of the - um - "stout" women you see?

It means that :

1. Yes. Your rear is indeed as big as hers and (gasp) maybe even bigger. No kidding.

2. Uh-huh. You guessed it. It's time to decrease the calories, and increase the thing that starts with "E". Not Eeeeeek. E-x-e-r-c-i-s-e.

3. You'd do well to put the focus on your rear. Not hers. Focusing on yours should be a full time job considering the ampleness of what's following you. Just sayin'...

4. Everything looks smaller in the rear view mirror. Except the rear you're viewing.

That would be yours, Karen Anne.



From a tree hugger...

Fall is on it's way!

There are two massive maple trees that stand sentinel in the front yards of two equally massive (and grand) old victorian homes (one is a bed and breakfast) on W. Main Street in Mechanicsburg, PA. I've noticed, over the past 10 years, that they are the harbingers of fall; their leaves the first to turn scarlet as summer wanes.

As I drove by the other day I noticed their transformation has begun; their leaves newly flushed with change.

Soon all the trees in our area will follow suit, and I'll take my annual Tour of the Trees to see my favorites - each year seems more spectacular than the last.

I hope, as I enter the fall of my life, to follow the example of the maple trees; allowing the full rich green of summer to turn gracefully into a vibrant, glowing fall.

Okay, okay, so maybe that's a wee bit dramatic. Feel free to join hands and start singing "The Circle of Life".

But you get what I'm saying, right?



A reason to laugh...

So I mentioned something about being 57 years old.

He looked at me. "57? Really? You don't look a day over 50!"

"Thank you."

THANK YOU?!?!?!?!?

Note to men: if you are stretching the truth, stretch it into the high 40's, okay?